A week ago, I joined a website called the Blog Search Engine to have my blog indexed and reviewed. True to their words, the review of my In Search of My Moveable Feasts was posted this morning at http://www.blogsearchengine.com/category/personal-blogs/
If you would indulge me, I'd like to post this review in it's entirety:
Reading a personal blog – especially for the first time – is always an adventure. Undeniably, there are instances when you totally can’t connect with the blogger, but there are those gems which will not fail to delight you. From the get go, In Search of My Moveable Feasts, catches one’s attention with the blog name. The reference to Hemingway cannot be ignored, and the description of the blog’s beginnings only serves to make one more interested. This is the personal blog of XB, a pianist. In her blog, you can see the world through her eyes and read about dogs, cooking – not your everyday fare, travel, and more. Perhaps one of the most interesting thing about the blog is the fact that XB is hellbent on finding her “moveable feast”, and anyone who has had similar yearnings in life (who doesn’t?) will be able to relate.
I chuckled when I got to the last sentence, especially at the word "hellbent." While it was true that I had been on a quest to find that very elusive thing which would "float my boat", I did not realize that my desperation had seeped through each word and post, made itself so obviously known to even a stranger...or, did it?
I have been playing the piano all my life. It has become the only thing I thoroughly knew, and my identity and self-worth are chained to how well and successful (or not) my piano playing is. Although I am not ready to discuss my feelings towards the piano, the instrument that has been my constant companion for the past thirty plus years, and the object of my devotion, love and hatred, I feel somewhat prepared to start looking elsewhere just for a bit. In the past, I had made a few half-hearted attempts to break away from the piano, only to discover that the unknown world was too frightening to confront. I would invaribly return to my comfort zone, marching on with renewed hope, fear and disappointment; therefore, I wouldn't be surprised that this current urge to search for my niche in life wil also pass, and settles me back once more into my exacerbatingly comfortable status quo!
However, since my birthday is rapidly approaching (one week to be exact), I would like to make a wish to whomever is willing to listen in the celestial heavens. Maybe this year, something will come to me, an idea or an inspiration that illuminates a new path for me: a green pasture that brings me more contentment and joy and less embittered battles with myself. I don't know if I will be be able to walk away from the piano completely, since it seems like my inseparable yet dysfunctional spouse whom I can't live with or without. But, being one year older and wiser, I hope my courage will be stronger and my dreams more daring, and that I can embrace the unknown like the dawn before a glorious day, rather than fearing it as an opening to a bleak abyss!