NaNoWriMo is here. Wouldn't it be nice to have some instructions or some words of wisdom before you start? Well, you won't get any of those here. I'm too unstructured to give any advice but I like to make things up. So here goes:
The writer's guide to joyful writing or how to get people off your back when you are writing :
1. When ask what you are doing, answer with "Oh, just writing words from the dictionary."
2. If caught taking a nap, say, "I'm studying on how sleep or lack of, will affect my characters' well being."
3. If caught staring at a blank page, say, "I'm contemplating how my characters will react when confronted with empty space."
4. If caught staring at a blank computer screen, say, "You have just caused me to erase my entire novel and now I will have to start all over again, so dinner won't be happening for a couple of nights."
5. If ask where you get your ideas from, say, "I met a kid that was homeless on the streets and he was carrying a rainbow umbrella and talking about how the rain makes him crazy at night and then he hands me a flyer for a restaurant that sells fried chicken and when I got there, they only sell baked chicken and when I asked the owner why the flyer was wrong, he mentioned that he recently had a heart operation and will no longer sell unhealthy food and that his cousin printed up the flyer and wouldn't change it for him and before he continued, he got hit in the head by a piece of chicken and then a crowd gathered and he was sent to the hospital and...what was the question again?" and look very, very frustrated as you say it.
6. When ask why you can't do housework, say, "My characters does not do housework and so I'm trying get into their psyche by doing the same. It helps me write."
7. When ask if they can be a character in your novel, say, "Sure, you can be the cross-dressing uncle who picks his nose and carries a Chia pet."
8. When ask if they can read what you have written, say, "Sure, can you read German?" Or some language you are sure that person does not know.
9. If they pester you on what your novel is really about, say, "Nothing much, just about people who asks too many questions and who ends up getting run over by really big cars, you know, a love story," and smile sweetly.
10. If caught playing a video game or watching a movie or doing something other than writing, say "I'm doing research."
Note: This is just a silly list, so don't take them seriously. I mean it. Don't take them seriously. Seriously.